3 little kisses

Sometimes it feels good just to KNOW you are going to take control of an area of your life. I feel good today. Like I'm a different girl.

I started reading a book last night that I checked out from the library. I LOVE the library. I feel like I've cheated myself all these years for not taking advantage of free books! We take our reusable shopping bag and LOAD UP on books. It's awesome. Anyways, this particular book is called Breaking the Food Seduction by Dr. Neal Barnard. I'm only a couple chapters in but feel like this is going to be a great read for me (and you, if you happen to be seduced by food the way I can be!). Foods like chocolate, cheese, breads, etc. all trigger a part of the brain that brings on pleasure by releasing dopamine. I knew that about chocolate but certainly didn't know that cheese or potato chips or bread could do the same. So people can indeed be addicted to chocolate just like you can be addicted to drugs. Dopamine is released bringing on pleasure just as drugs trigger the same response. So when we eat a lot of those foods that release dopamine, our bodies begin to crave them more and more and we feel like we don't have control over it. Have you ever heard of someone being addicted to green peppers or carrots? No. It's the unhealthy stuff that gets us addicted because they are like drugs! That's just a little of what I'm learning from the book. Interesting, right?! I think it will help me better understand why I feel like sometimes I just can't stop eating the "bad" things and why the "good" things don't sound good to me.

I was cleaning out Kaden's backpack from his last day of school yesterday and out fell 3 Hershey Kisses. Oh man, did my mouth start watering and my brain saying "EAT THEM NOWWW!!!". But I kept thinking about what I read in the book last night about chocolate. They have been sitting on the counter and have been a HUGE temptation for me all morning. I thought about putting them somewhere out of sight but I wanted to test my willpower. Every time I walk by I think how easily it would be to eat one and experience their chocolatey deliciousness. But then I'd have to look up the calorie count and record it and you know that's just too much work! So I'm proud to say that those 3 little Kisses are STILL sitting there on my counter. I better feed them to my children before they really do get the best of me. I'm such a good mom! :)

Today I am starting a program called the 30 day Shred by Jillian Michaels. It was recommended to me by a Facebook/old high school friend (insert shout out to Katie!!). I'm anxious to see what it's all about. And I really want to get back in to running again. I am always shocked how quickly my body gets back out of shape when I take a running break. I can go from running 3 miles easily to barely running 1 mile. So it's been a few weeks since I ran and I'm going to start again at 1 mile and hopefully increase quickly from there. I think I should sign up for a 5K again so I have a goal. I don't particularly ENJOY running. I mean, I don't ENJOY exercise period! But what I do love about running is the feeling I get when I run a distance I didn't think I could. It feels great...rewarding....empowering. And us women need to feel empowered every once in a while! Can I get an AMEN? :)

Ready.....set.....go.....

A blog. I never thought I'd be doing this. I had one WAY back in the day. When I was in like 8th grade. And now I'm 25 and starting one.

My life is not that exciting....not worthy enough for a blog based solely on my day-to-day life anyways. But the idea of a blog chronicling my struggle to be healthy and remain healthy has been ever present on my mind. The problems I deal with are ones I think MANY women (and men...I can't be exclusive here!) deal with. Let's face it...it's hard to be a woman! And it's even harder to be a woman living in America where we are "supposed" to be skinny and fit, yet we are flooded with opportunities to be fat and lazy. And this is where I struggle. I don't particularly enjoy working out. I will find any excuse to get out of running or lifting weights. I also love chocolate and food in general. I have a problem where I don't always know when to stop. Sure I may feel sick to my stomach but if it tastes good, I don't always have the common sense to stop.

I've never really admitted that I have a problem with food or being healthy until recently. I feel like it's an area of my life that's always been there but has really come to light over the past several months. It's an area of my life I desperately want to be freed from. So much of my time and energy is wasted feeling bad about what I've eaten... feeling bad about not working out. God has so much more for me than that! The time I waste feeling sorry for myself I COULD be using to pray or encourage someone or read my Bible.

The message at church on Sunday was about the strike zones Satan will use to get you. I would definitely classify this area of my life as a strike zone. But I know (because the Bible tells me so!) that God is so much bigger than Satan. So much more mighty. Satan trembles at the mere name of God! So I know that God can bring me into the life He has planned for me. Free from the control of food and physical-fitness-laziness! I want to have this blog as a way to look back at how far I will have come. As a way to stay accountable (even if nobody reads this!). And maybe, just maybe, help someone along the way. Because I know I'm not alone.